angry female EXTREMIST (a_white_rain) wrote in canon_sues,
angry female EXTREMIST

Gai from Naruto

Title of Work: Naruto
Author: Masashi Kishimoto

Full name, including titles: Maito Gai/Mighty Guy romanced
Full Species: Green, spandex-clad, humanoid sue.
Hair Color: Beautiful, silky, raven hair. Complete with contrasting beautiful, white shines. Incidentally, the shines often hold subliminal messages, with words hidden in his hair such as "Love me" and "I'm perfect" and "Sue"
Eye Color: Ebony as the night sky.
Unusual Markings/Colourations: Large, powerful eyebrows. Teeth so white that you’ll go blind (and no ever does, even though they clearly should.)
Special Possesses/Pets: Ninkame, a turtle. His legwarmers, which give him a 1987 sex appeal. The bulge between his legs, that rivals David Bowie's in the Labyrinth.
Annoying Sidekicks: Rock Lee (sometimes Neji and Kakashi, in horribly ooc raping way).
Annoying Origin: Mysterious past, we are not sure of it yet. But it’s clear that it’s the reason behind his power (he’s stronger than Kakashi – a living legend – in some areas for no reason at all. And he’s supposed to be nearly as smart as Neji – the best of the Hyuuga clan.)
Annoying Way of Ruining the Story: He makes it hard to concentrate on what exactly is happening in the plot when his bulge is just… Out there. He also warps the characterizations of others for no reason at all.
Annoying Special Abilities: The ability to make sunsets appear out of nowhere. The ability to make Rock Lee worship him. The ability to have Lee not get mad at him when he hits him. The ability to make Kakashi apologize (when one could point out that Kakashi was right, because Lee shouldn’t die since he could re-take the chunin exam). The ability to make Kisame emo. The ability to make Neji make promises. The ability to kick a Sannin in the face and get away with it. The ability to be awesome, even in fillers when everyone else looks like horrible moronic fools. The ability to hug little boys and not be bashed as much as Orochimaru. The ability to have an awesome team. The ability to make Itachi run away, the ability to give bishounen piggyback rides(ie: Sasuke, Kakashi). Also, he’s never, ever wrong. Ever. And how he messed up every other characterization! It
Miscellaneous Reasons the Sue should not exist: The fact that I love him and cannot have him.
Redeeming Qualities: That bulge, it’s also a flaw, and never comes off that way, thus putting up his Sue points.

Small snippet of Sue Being Annoying: Well, he’s a big fat Mary Sue (Kishimoto even implied that he was a self-insert in an Interview when he talked about manly tears) and everywhere he goes, it shows. However, this is an extra bad bit:

Gai: "Neji, get a hold of yourself! You made a warm promise to me that you would not let this main house stuff get to your head!"
Neji: "Why are you and the others interfering? Oh, I see... The Main House gets special treatment!"

Gai says ‘warm’ instead of ‘passionate’ and he only says that once and it’s very inconstant with his speech patters. Kishimoto is good at making varied voices in his character, Gai is the only one who doesn’t stick to this pattern (probably because he’s in love with Gai and can’t stick to one characterization.)

And Neji. Gah. It’s canon that only Hinata and Naruto can make Neji lose his cool and rant about the Main House with emotion (sometimes he opens up to Tenten, but it’s in a calm, partnership way, in which she helps him through his pain).

Gai and Neji show no signs of having a bond, and that Gai can make Neji act like an irrational, bitter child – and hell, have Neji make a promise to him before he’s changed by Naruto, Tenten and Hinata’s love – is a tale tail sign of a Mary Sue. Warping other’s characterizations horribly to fit what the author wants to say – or, as I suspect, Kishimoto wants a threesome with Neji and Gai – is one of the worst crimes of a Mary Sue.

Just don’t even get me started on all the time Gai and Sasuke interact. He makes Sasuke so OOC. And Kakashi! Gai warps Kakashi’s characterization so much, he makes this awesome bad ass apologize (he’s only shown venerable with Iruka, letting his guard down to prove he cares for his team.)

I have a love/hate relationship with him. Gai is the biggest Canon Sue in the series, but he’s also one of my anime crushes because he’s so hot. I… I think in need time to grieve. It took me (and a dear friend who helped me with this ew_younerd, who loves Gai even more than I) ages to work up the courage to prove how much of a Mary Sue Gai is.
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