AUTHORS: Steven Moffat, Mark Gatiss (mainly Moffat because he loves to Sue)
FULL NAME: Mary Watson, nee Morstan
FULL SPECIES: Jamis Bondicus Super-Special-Spyicus Genius
HAIRSTYLE (WITH ADJECTIVES): Blonde bob suitable for running, kicking, shooting etc.
EYE COLOR: Don’t know.
SPECIAL CLOTHES: Wedding dress (day), ninja spy outfit (night)
SPECIAL POSSESSIONS: Super Seekrit USB Drive of Doom (all her personal history)
ANNOYING SIDEKICKS: Sherlock instantly respects her despite the fact she has ‘Liar’ written all over her. John’s in love, of course, but that’s pretty-much just landed on the viewer rather than developed.
ANNOYING WAY OF RUINING THE STORY: She tells Sherlock the phone message is a skip code; she tells him where Major Sholto’s room is; she manages to just not kill Sherlock by a hair’s breadth. Meanwhile, she offers intelligent love and support, helping John decode his and Sherlock’s emotions.
ANNOYING SPECIAL ABILITIES: Astonishing kinetic abilities suitable to shoot somebody in the heart and be sure of not killing them (bullshit!). Genius-or-near-genius-level intelligence and gifts of memory which she uses as a spy and assassin: which suddenly pop up after we’ve had two series’ to sell us on Sherlock’s abilities being something special. Being better at being kick-ass than The Kick-Ass One and better at being caring than The Caring One (John, obviously), which means that now both the characters we want to watch have been supplanted by somebody Better Than You.
MISCELLANEOUS REASONS THE SUE SHOULD NOT EXIST: Mainly because she’s just another Moffat God-Mode Sue. As somebody pointed out earlier, Irene Adler is an irritating Sue because she sexualises everything every ten seconds and can do everything except think of a good password. Mary Morstan Watson isn’t like that. She’s firmly in the ‘Can Do Everything’ camp, just like River Song in Doctor Who. Giving omnipotent characters a flaw (Orac in Blake’s 7 is as annoying as it is omniscient; Q in ST:TNG is literally omnipotent, but either drops in in a flash of light or turns into a human) is pretty basic. Instead NuWho suffers from the trope of Our Women Are Just Too Awesome. Mary is limited to reality, but there are no moments shown where she just can’t think of something and has to let one of the other characters shine. Moffat may end up writing himself out of a corner with Too Pregnant To Be Awesome and thus giving her human weaknesses.
REDEEMING QUALITIES: Likeable, good sense of humour. If only she didn’t have a massive Sue Reality-Warping Field that made her Specialer than the other characters in their own specialist subjects, and if only we saw Sherlock grow to respect her rather than instantly regard his best friend as John-and-Mary, she wouldn’t be such an irritating character.
NO QUOTES, IT’S WHAT SHE DOES AND IS THAT MAKES HER IRRITATING.