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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in The Canon Sue Report's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, August 16th, 2014
2:53 am
2 Sues
Title of Work: From Hell, 1999
Author: Hughes Bros.
Full Name, including titles: Mary Kelly
Full Species(es): Human Female
Hair Color (include adjectives): Red
Eye Color: NA
Unusual Markings/Colorations: NA
Special Possessions/Pets: NA
Annoying Sidekicks:
Annoying Origin: A beautiful prostitute gets caught up in the conspiracy surrounding the Ripper murders
Annoying Way of Ruining the Story: Love interest to eccentric Inspector F. Abberline and manages to evade from becoming the Ripper's next victim by mistaken identity
Annoying Special Abilities: Unrealistic Irish accent (actress was mis-casted for role)
Miscellaneous Reasons The Sue Should Not Exist: too beautiful/well groomed for a White Chapel prostitute
Redeeming Qualities: (Reasons the Sue might not be annoying to someone else). She raises Prince Edward's illegitimate daughter in a cottage by the sea (who was the reason behind the Ripper murders)
Small snippet of Sue Being Annoying: (Please make sure this is properly accredited to author, so we're not violating copyright).

Title of Work: Mobsters, 1991
Author: Michael Karbelnikoff
Full Name, including titles: Mara Motes
Full Species(es): Human Female
Hair Color (include adjectives): candy-red, bobbed hair
Eye Color: NA
Unusual Markings/Colorations: NA
Special Possessions/Pets: NA
Annoying Sidekicks: NA
Annoying Origin: cabaret dancer/prostitute; saved by Lucky Luciano who fell in love with her at first sight after another gangster tried to claim her as his.
Annoying Way of Ruining the Story: horrible/laughable sex scenes with co-star Christian Slater and takes up space in a 1 1/2 hour B-movie about gangsters
Annoying Special Abilities: Her brutal death (getting tommy-gunned in bed) was Luciano's main motive to get revenge against his enemies and rise to power (in real-life, Luciano got rid of his enemies: the "Mustached Petes" to rebuild a new organized crime syndicate in NYC)
Miscellaneous Reasons The Sue Should Not Exist: Supposedly Luciano's One True Love, when in reality Luciano had a lot of GFs including prostitutes
Redeeming Qualities: (Reasons the Sue might not be annoying to someone else). Only if you like the leading cast, because even violent mobsters need love
Small snippet of Sue Being Annoying: (Please make sure this is properly accredited to author, so we're not violating copyright).
Tuesday, April 1st, 2014
5:38 pm
Another Sherlock Holmes Sue
Title of Work: Young Sherlock Holmes: Death Cloud
Author:Andrew Lane

Full Name, including titles: Virginia Crowe, her father calls her Ginny (and later Ginnie, the book can't seem to decide)
Full Species(es): human teenager
Hair Colour (include adjectives):long and reddish-gold
Eye Colour: violet, the shade of wild flowers
Unusual Markings/Colourations: tanned with freckles
Special Possessions/Pets: Her horse Sandia
Annoying Sidekicks: She is the annoying sidekick. Except she is pretty much useless for most of the book, except one scene where he actually does something.

Annoying Origin: Albuquerque, USA
Annoying Way of Ruining the Story: Is so obviously only there to be Sherlock's love interest and is otherwise the typically spunky and sassy Sue. You know, wants to be part of the action despite having no relevant skills, scoffs at ladylike things, wears boy clothes and is snobby towards the main character while clearly having a crush on him.
Annoying Special Abilities: None really, despite her thinking that she has her Dad's tracking skills even though I don't see how what she actually does is all that difficult. And she can ride, of course not side-saddle, heaven forbid.
Miscellaneous Reasons The Sue Should Not Exist: Sherlock is constantly thinking about her at odd moments despite him barely knowing her and of course the fact that Sherlock Holmes shouldn't be that interested in romance in the first place. He also says she's unlike any other girl and calls her unique.
Redeeming Qualities: Can't really think of anything. Mind you the Sue is not the biggest problem the book has. No, that would be Sherlock himself. I get that he's only 14 years old in this, but he should still be smarter and have at least some scientific curiosity. He pretty much starts out like a blank slate at the beginning of the book, just your regular teenage boy who has no friends for some reason. He has no apparent hobbies and doesn't even care about science. The character Amyus Crowe is more of a Sherlock Holmes type character than Sherlock himself and seems to groom him into the person he should be.

Small snippet of Sue Being Annoying:
Sherlock found that he couldn't pull his gaze away from her face. She was about the same age as him. Her hair was long and reddish-gold, cascading and curling around her shoulders like a copper waterfall hitting rocks and splashing upward. Her eyes were a shade of violet that Sherlock had only ever seen before on wild flowers, and her skin was brown and freckled, as if she spent a lot of time outdoors.
Saturday, January 25th, 2014
6:05 pm
Mary Morstan Watson
AUTHORS: Steven Moffat, Mark Gatiss (mainly Moffat because he loves to Sue)
FULL NAME: Mary Watson, nee Morstan
FULL SPECIES: Jamis Bondicus Super-Special-Spyicus Genius
HAIRSTYLE (WITH ADJECTIVES): Blonde bob suitable for running, kicking, shooting etc.
EYE COLOR: Don’t know.
SPECIAL CLOTHES: Wedding dress (day), ninja spy outfit (night)
SPECIAL POSSESSIONS: Super Seekrit USB Drive of Doom (all her personal history)
ANNOYING SIDEKICKS: Sherlock instantly respects her despite the fact she has ‘Liar’ written all over her. John’s in love, of course, but that’s pretty-much just landed on the viewer rather than developed.
ANNOYING WAY OF RUINING THE STORY: She tells Sherlock the phone message is a skip code; she tells him where Major Sholto’s room is; she manages to just not kill Sherlock by a hair’s breadth. Meanwhile, she offers intelligent love and support, helping John decode his and Sherlock’s emotions.
ANNOYING SPECIAL ABILITIES: Astonishing kinetic abilities suitable to shoot somebody in the heart and be sure of not killing them (bullshit!). Genius-or-near-genius-level intelligence and gifts of memory which she uses as a spy and assassin: which suddenly pop up after we’ve had two series’ to sell us on Sherlock’s abilities being something special. Being better at being kick-ass than The Kick-Ass One and better at being caring than The Caring One (John, obviously), which means that now both the characters we want to watch have been supplanted by somebody Better Than You.
MISCELLANEOUS REASONS THE SUE SHOULD NOT EXIST: Mainly because she’s just another Moffat God-Mode Sue. As somebody pointed out earlier, Irene Adler is an irritating Sue because she sexualises everything every ten seconds and can do everything except think of a good password. Mary Morstan Watson isn’t like that. She’s firmly in the ‘Can Do Everything’ camp, just like River Song in Doctor Who. Giving omnipotent characters a flaw (Orac in Blake’s 7 is as annoying as it is omniscient; Q in ST:TNG is literally omnipotent, but either drops in in a flash of light or turns into a human) is pretty basic. Instead NuWho suffers from the trope of Our Women Are Just Too Awesome. Mary is limited to reality, but there are no moments shown where she just can’t think of something and has to let one of the other characters shine. Moffat may end up writing himself out of a corner with Too Pregnant To Be Awesome and thus giving her human weaknesses.
REDEEMING QUALITIES: Likeable, good sense of humour. If only she didn’t have a massive Sue Reality-Warping Field that made her Specialer than the other characters in their own specialist subjects, and if only we saw Sherlock grow to respect her rather than instantly regard his best friend as John-and-Mary, she wouldn’t be such an irritating character.
Thursday, December 12th, 2013
1:44 pm
Gwen Stacy
CANON SUE: Gwen Stacy, Spider-Man Comics

FULL NAME: Gwendolyne Maxine Stacy
FULL SPECIES: Homo sapien
HAIR COLOR (WITH ADJECTIVES) Thick wavy platinum blonde with black headband
EYE COLOR: Sparkling blue!
UNUSUAL MARKINGS/COLORS: Very white girl, usually wears red
ANNOYING SIDEKICKS: Pretty much every man in the comics at the time falls for her at some point, so they could count.
ANNOYING ORIGIN: Gwen is the daughter of police Captain George Stacy. She's rich and popular and pretty and always gets her way. She goes to Empire State University, she's friends with the rich Osborn family and she's a Science major (although we never see her doing anything scientific). Her dad eventually dies, and she blames Spider-Man for it (because of course she does).
ANNOYING WAY OF RUINING THE STORY: Gwen is the love interest, but she's very boring and very much getting shilled all the time. In pretty much every issue somebody calls her either "beautiful", "amazing", "perfect" or some synonym thereof. Take a shot every time you read the Romita Spider-Man comics and the characters refer to her as such. She gets all the boys, and the more interesting female characters like Mary Jane and Betty Brant get pushed aside so she can hog all the spotlight. Hell, all the more interesting characters get shoved to the side so that Gwen can be the main supporting character. Flash, Harry, J JOnah Jameson, Joe Robertson, Norman Osborn, the Connors family, Captain George Stacy - pretty much all the characters are shoved aside so that Gorgeous Gwendolyne (yeah, seriously, they call her that in the narrative) can take focus and have all the screentime. Peter spends all of his time they're together trying to please her and brooding over how he's hurt his chances with little miss perfect.
ANNOYING SPECIAL ABILITIES: Not really any; she's mostly a damsel in distress who gets kidnapped all the time and has to be rescued. She doesn't have any special powers.
MISCELLANEOUS REASONS THIS SUE SHOULD NOT EXIST: Most of Peter's other love interests and supporting women are at least a little interesting. Mary Jane is cheerful and optimistic but uses it to cover up her hard home life; Felicia Hardy is a troubled thief who kicks ass as a superhero; Betty Brant has a dark and troubled past and had to give up her life to support her family; Liz Allan is a smart and nice girl with a brother who's a supervillain, who marries Harry Osborn and becomes a strong leader of Oscorp. Gwen is not that interesting, and yet she's always getting pushed by adaptations and by the original comics as some sort of perfect saint. There are so many more interesting characters to like in the Spider-Man comics, why focus so much on this bland Mary Sue?
REDEEMING QUALITIES: Well, she dies, so people don't say bad things about her. She's supposedly a science major, though we don't see much of that.
I feel I need to put extra proof in here, since Gwen has so many fans nowadays. So here we go: Every example from the books I can find of someone calling Gwen some synonym for "beautiful", "amazing" or "Perfect."

AMAZING SPIDERMAN #31 HARRY OSBORN: And this little lady (Gwen) is the former Beauty Queen of Standard high, as if you couldn't tell!
AMAZING SPIDERMAN #34 PETER PARKER: That Gwen is a knockout! If only...ah, what's the use?
AMAZING SPIDERMAN #36 PETER PARKER: How can someone so pretty be such a nut?
AMAZING SPIDERMAN #41 GWEN: A knockout, Pete. PETER: (thinking) Just like you are, Gwendolyne! Was I ever so wrapped up in Betty that I couldn't see this living pin-up under my nose? Something tells me my luck is about to change! Those eyes! Those lips! She's too much!
AMAZING SPIDERMAN #42 FLASH: Don't tell me Parker puts you on, Gwen! Not a chick like you!
AMAZING SPIDERMAN #45 PETER: I guess there's something about Gwen that just grabs me! (yeah, Pete, don't specify what. Guess its cause she's so speshul.)
AMAZING SPIDERMAN #46 PETER: (thinking) It's Gwen! I didn't recognize her at first! Look at her go! But why am I surprised? I never figured her for the wall flower type! MARY JANE (her rival, mind you) Hmm, Gwen's not bad, dad!
PETER (thinking) Gwen never looked more gorgeous!
AMAZING SPIDERMAN #47 RANDOM GUY: Don't worry, Gwen, if you're tossing the party we'll be there!
PETER: Has anyone ever told you that you get prettier every day?
HARRY: Gwen! If...if I'd known you'd look like that I'd have gotten here sooner!
PETER: With Gwen sending me into orbit whenever I looke at her..
MARY JANE: Gwen! Did you really arrange the decorations? They're just out of sight!
HARRY: Say, Pretty girl, are we gonna let Pete and MJ hog all teh spotlight?
RANDOM PATRONS: Look at Gwen go! Wowee, if we could package that we'd be rich!
PETER: That's the gal I never had time to date!
FLASH: Put your eyes back in your head Parker! You wouldn't stand a chance in that league! She makes other chicks look like they're off the wall!
AMAZING SPIDERMAN #48 PETER: You sure look great wearing your hair that way!
AMAZING SPIDERMAN #49 HARRY: Gwen! MJ I feel like I won a raffle!
HARRY (to Gwen) You think I'd let you slip away that easy? Don't make a mov,e pussycat!
AMAZING SPIDERMAN #50 PETER: I'm sorry I asked, pretty girl!
PETER: A fella could sure sail through life with a gal like that to come home to!
FLASH: Yeah, but Gorgeous Gwendolyne is over here! How do I look, dream stuff?
FLASH: You can say that again, gorgeous!
FLASH: Not a chance, doll face!
PETER: Are you doing anything special tonight, pretty girl?
GWEN: Everything I do is special, Mr. Parker (seriously, readers, what more proof do you need?)
PROFESSOR WARREN: You're bringing Miss Stacy? I certainly admire your choice, Mr. Parker
FLASH: Hi gorgeous! I knew you wouldn't keep ol Flasheroo waiting!
PETER: But the most exciting fact is just being with Gwen! how can anyone be so beautiful and also be so -
PETER: She's the first girl who's never asked me for any explanations (A hem, Pete, re-read ASM #42, MJ never asked for any explanations either!)
FLASH: Say, gorgeous, you still with Puny Parker?
PETER: But not half as much as I enjoy seeing Gorgeous GWEN!
PETER: Except that a certain blonde looks more gorgeous than ever!
THE NARRATION (seriously): Goergeous Gwen STacy tearfully, uncomprehendingly stares at the incriminating front page news photo!
PETER: I wasn't expecting a fairy princess!
PETER: Gwendy! You look like a walking centerfold pinup! And in real color too! (thinking) How can I subject this Gorgeous creature to the green Goblin?
(Okay, htat's kind of ironic)
PETER: Don't tell me I've finally found the right words to make Gorgeous Gwendolyne jealous!
PETER: Disapprove of me latching on to the bounciest, brightest, most beautiful blonde in all creation?
RANDOM STUDENT: Okay, beautiful, got any ideas?
THE SHOCKER (seriously) You're in luck, gorgeous.
FLASH: Man, you're a sight for these gal-hungry eyes!
FLASH: Face it, friend, anyone who doesn't make a play for that chick is ready for embalming!
PETER: Boy, she must have taken a double dose of pretty pills tihs morning!
PETER: Hey pretty girl! Guess who?
PETER: Standing next to those paintings, she looks like the only masterpiece in the place!
PETER: For gwen. For hte most wonderful girl I've ever known!
PETER: Gwendy, I don't know how I ever rated a gal like you!

And trust me, there's pleanty more.
Monday, July 15th, 2013
12:03 am
List of Canon-Sues/Stus to Spork
This is a list of Canon Sues/Stus that I think deserve to be sporked on here:

Elmo-Sesame Street
Michelle Tanner-Full House (the whole Tanner clan could be sporked)
Lt. Comm. Harmon Rabb-JAG
Daisy Buchanan-The Great Gatsby (book or movie)
Katherine Moore-The Last Tycoon (book or movie)
Legolas-LOTR (Books but mostly movie-canon)
Edith Adelon.-Louisa May Alcott’s The Inheritance
Lori Grimes-The Walking Dead (comic and TV series)
Andrea-The Walking Dead (S3 of the TV series)
Annie Blackburn-Twin Peaks
Shelby Eatenton Latcherie -Steel Magnolias (Movie canon)
Catherine Earnshaw- Emily Bronte’s Wuthering Heights
Mary of Scots-Mary, Queen of Scots 1971 film
John McBain-OLTL/GH
Cristian Vega-OLTL
Jason Q. Morgan-GH
Jonathan Randall-GL
Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield-Sweet Valley High book series
Duncan MacLeod-Highlander series
Every female protagonist from VC Andrews’ novels
Neo/Thomas Anderson-The Matrix Trilogy
Mary Kelly-From Hell (movie)
Tuesday, June 25th, 2013
3:43 pm
True Q
Title of Work: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Author: Gene Roddenberry

Full Name, including titles: Amanda Rogers, Q
Full Species(es): "Human" Q
Hair Colour : Blond hair, always in a bun
Eye Colour: Light brown
Unusual Markings/Colourations: Wears an entirely pink outfit throughout the majority of the episode.
Special Possessions/Pets: "Zoo" of three dogs, generates a litter of puppies in the beginning of the episode.
Annoying Sidekicks: Q, and the rest of the Enterprise takes an immediate liking to her.

Annoying Origin: Amanda was born to a Q couple who wanted to live human lives, but were killed in a tornado (created by the Continuum, that miraculously didn't kill her despite the fact it touched down directly on her home) when she was a baby. She was raised by human parents, and her Q powers started to show when she turned 18, six months before she was "selected out of hundreds of applicants for an internship on the Enterprise." Apparently she is an incredibly smart biologist, memorized the layout of the enterprise, and fawns over Riker throughout most of the episode.
Annoying Way of Ruining the Story: Magically saves an entire planet from imminent destruction by staring at it with her mouth open as the atmosphere is about to kill all life on the surface. She forces Riker to fall in love with her.
Annoying Special Abilities: Super smart, Q powers (generate whatever she wants, teleport, etc.) which she is able to perfect immediately.
Miscellaneous Reasons The Sue Should Not Exist: Super powered alien raised by humans, finds out she has powers, falls in love with a canon character, and does not wear the uniform (usually in a pink jumpsuit/dress). General sue-attitude and 'all attention on her' attitude.
Redeeming Qualities: In the end, she chooses to save the planet instead of living a normal human life.

Small snippet of Sue Being Annoying:
Other than forcing Riker in to costume and magically infatuating him to fall in love with her...
As the warp core is about to explode, she stands there staring at it with her mouth open until it finally bursts, allowing her to show off her powers throwing her hands up and somehow stopping the blast and repairing the damages.
"Ever since I got here I've been fighting this. I've been denying the truth - denying what I am. I am Q."
Thursday, December 20th, 2012
3:48 pm
Irene Adler, Anyone?
This one has bothered me for a while.

Title of Work: Sherlock
Author: Mark Gatiss, Steven Moffat

Full Name, including titles: Irene Adler, The Woman, The One Woman Who Matters

Full Species(es): Human

Hair Colour (include adjectives): Dark brown and impossibly shiny

Eye Colour: Blue

Unusual Markings/Colourations: None

Special Possessions/Pets: Whip, nakedness, super special camera phone

Annoying Sidekicks: Her live-in partner Kate, whoever drove Watson to see her

Annoying Origin: Belgravia

Annoying Way of Ruining the Story: Hijacks a plot far more interesting than herself and turns a smartly-written t.v. series into a sexual sideshow for one episode

Annoying Special Abilities: Far too many. Sexuality, bargaining, intelligence, physical strength, can fake her own death (twice), can outsmart Mycroft Holmes, who's supposed to be even more intelligent than his brother, Sherlock (whom she nearly outsmarts as well). She's also unafraid of Jim Moriarity, probably the creepiest super-villian on t.v. in a while. And, of course, she makes the asexual Sherlock fall for her.

Miscellaneous Reasons The Sue Should Not Exist: She should exist, but she didn't have to be written to be such a Sue. I swear, this is Moffat's favorite incarnation of female characters. Will someone tell him that strong female characters don't need to be cheeky, overly confident, needlessly sexual, and overshadow the protagonist? Irene Adler is the River Song of "Sherlock."

You can't argue that everyone "loves" her, but everyone does respond to her in exactly the way Moffat intends her to be seen. Instead of getting angry, Mycroft just calls her--somewhat admiringly--"the dominatrix who brought a nation to its knees." Sherlock pines for her for months. Even Watson, who's clearly uncomfortable with her, plays into the "romance" developing between her & Sherlock. And the CIA agents who burst into her house are afraid of her "because she knows the code to call the police."

There is literally nothing this woman can't do, apparently, besides think of a clever smartphone password and escape a group of terrorists on her own.

And before I'm called out as a prude, let me just say I don't have a problem with female characters being sexual/comfortable with sex. I also don't care that Irene is portrayed as a dominatrix. It's an interesting twist to the character and kind of fun. What I DO have a problem with is how she has to bring it up every 10 seconds. If we're expected to care about her or like her as a match for Sherlock, we need more than lewd references and a moderately clever mind.

Nothing about Irene Adler is remotely likable, and she has the hallmark of any Sue--every character responds to her way out of proportion to her awesomeness or "bad ass" qualities.

Redeeming Qualities: It was kind of fun watching Sherlock respond to a woman like this and see a different side to him. However, this would have been possible with a really watered down version of the character. Also, she's only in one episode (so far), so there's a chance this was just an interesting one-off.

Small snippet of Sue Being Annoying:

"I make my way in the world, I misbehave."
"I told you, I misbehave."
"I know what he liked."

--in answer to every question ever.
Sunday, November 25th, 2012
2:25 am
Canon Sue report: Ikaros from Sora no Otoshimono
I know it is my first post here, but I just cannot believe why the hell Sora no Otoshimono is so popular. It is like the Twilight in the anime world. (It isn't just this Ikaros who is a mary sue; 99.9% of the characters in Sora no Otoshimono are serious Mary Sues, bad as Bella Swan and Edward Cullen.)

Title of Work: Sora no Otoshimono
Author: Suu (Lets call him Sue since he is the male Stephanie Meyer.) Minazuki

Full Name, including titles: Ikaros (Uranus Queen.)
Full Species(es): Angeloid (Angel robots. They are overly too powerful.)
Hair Colour (include adjectives): Pink with a brown hair on the ends.
Eye Colour: Green, but can turn red when in her Uranus Queen mode.
Unusual Markings/Colourations: None
Special Possessions/Pets: None
Annoying Sidekicks: I guess her watermelon fetish is the sidekick <_<

Annoying Origin: She was locked up in Synapse as the mass weapon of destruction.
Annoying Way of Ruining the Story: She falls out of the sky, and gets rescued by the Bella Swan Tomoki (Ikaros is the Edward Cullen in the story.), but she rescues Tomoki, and becomes his servant. She is literally emotionless, and she is even hunted down by the bad guys because they want her powers. And of course, since she can do whatever her master wishes, she can even make all the people disappear or everything.
Annoying Special Abilities: She is the Uranus Queen, the ultimate Angeloid. She has this bow called artemis which can destroy a WHOLE FUCKING COUNTRY, she can turn herself into a space shuttle or whatever the fuck it is, she has an unbeatable barrier which can deflect everything, and can fly at a impossible speed.
Miscellaneous Reasons The Sue Should Not Exist: She has a Barbie doll anatomy; massive boobs and how the hell can she be the ultimate weapon if she has such massive ones. Also, how do her boob coverers even cover her boobs? They don't even have the gravity to hold it! (Check out her picture. Google it.). And her emotionless personality is just the typical Rei Ayanami personality which is so overused and annoying. The only person who should have the Rei Ayanami personality is Rei Ayanami herself of course. Another is she is talented at almost everything; cleaning the house, singing beautifully, etc.
Redeeming Qualities: She has some flaws such as bad at playing instruments, but it makes her a very boring character. Nothing is likeable of her.

Small snippet of Sue Being Annoying: Just look at the anime. She is all the way annoying. 
Tuesday, October 16th, 2012
6:11 pm
Reporting Princess Ciri from The Witcher series by Andrzej Sapkowski
I'm only on book three of this series, but I honestly cannot believe how blatant a world-warping Sue this character is. Thank goodness she doesn't appear in the games.

Full Name, including titles: Cirilla "Ciri" Fiona Elen Riannon, princess of Cintra, "The Lion Cub of Cintra", "The Child Surprise", "Death or Rebirth", "Source of Magic" and when she's in a gang, Falka. And that's only what's happened up to the beginning of book three.

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Small snippet of Sue Being Annoying:

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Monday, June 4th, 2012
6:51 pm
He Knew Every Magic Trick Under The Sun~
I'm pretty sure I'm going to a very special hell for this. So naturally it's my first submission here.

Title of Work: Journey to the West (Monkey in the most common English translation)
Author: Wu Cheng-en

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Totally my favourite canon sue of all time. (And I bet you can name the DVD that arrived today.)

Current Mood: amused
Friday, May 25th, 2012
10:06 am
Praise the dog-kicking, baby-killing teenagers from Earth! They're our saviours!

I'm not quite sure if self-published authors/stories/Sues also count, but you might have heard of the infamous Gloria Tesch who is so god-damn absorbed by her own big ego and her wunnerful stories. And her two protagonists are such utter Sues, it's ridiculous. If these two are not welcome here, I'll delete the post, of course.
Oh, and I have not read the books, only the excerpt and sporks of them which can be found here. But there are also ones on ImpishIdea, video sporks on Youtube, and maybe even more. Everyone and their dog has made fun of these utter piles of claptrap, and I am next :D

Title of Work: The Maradonia™-Trilogy [sic], consisting of nine books, the first of which is called Maradonia™ and the Seven Bridges
Author: Gloria Tesch, The Worlds Youngest Novelist [sic], later on retconned to One Of The World's Youngest Novelist [sic]

Full Name, including titles: Maya and Joey Swanson.(Thanks, lonewolf_eburg!) The Maradonese call them the “Encouragers”, and Maya later gets Queen of Maradonia, whilst Joey becomes King of Tyronia.

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Another semi-related thing: Come on, you guys :/ I'd really love this community to bloom again. It's not that hard, is it? There are plenty of Sues out there that just seem to wait to be ripped apart. If you don't find any, report one that's already been reported, it's been done before. Really, it's so sad that nobody seems to report Sues here anymore.

Thursday, March 15th, 2012
8:28 pm
The Fifth Warrior of what now?!

I bring to you another exclusively German work which contains not one, but two freakin' Sues! This one almost won the Wolfgang Hohlbein Award, which is handled like a special honour for fantasy manuscript but is actually rather a Golden Raspberry for novels. I was mocked for taking the flaws of the book so seriously, because it is for children, and giving children stupid books is apparently okay. If this really were okay, so were feeding kids with dog food and snot, 'cuz after all, they're just kids, right?
Beware. Looooooooooong. Some of this dramedy is too Trainwreck Syndrome inducing to be shortened down.

Title of Work: Der Fünfte Krieger des Bösen (The Fifth Warrior of Evil; and in German, this sounds exactly as stupid and cliché as it does in English)
Author: Tanja Vetesnik

Full Name, including titles: Tuadh, Prince of the dTiarnai. Back in earlier times, when I did not know much about the Gaelic language(s), I tended to pronounce his name like “toad”. It's actually Gaelic for “axe” 'cuz he's just that darn awesum.
Full Species: Whiny secretly royal brat who can do no wrong, puer angstius perfectius
Hair Colour: Dark, which is oh-so-speshul amongst the dTiarnai (Elves by another name or something) and even becomes a plot point.
Eye Colour: Dark blue, like midnight
Unusual Markings/Colourations: A strange birthmark on his neck which he hides because he is harrased for it because reasons, which is actually a scar. Later on, Cailin also notices that even though he is so meager, and his hair is a mess, and white from the flour, he is very handsome! (Because bones are just that erotic, I guess.)
Special Possessions/Pets: At first, Garrit's puppy Fraw who loves him much better than Garrit. Generally every single animal they ever encounter. Only “nice” animals, of course. Later on, a mysterious sword he found in a tomb. Cailin states that, oh, the dead must have given it to him, because they can. Also, a magic crystal which guides his way, but nobody believes it is magic because they are dumb.
Annoying Sidekicks: Half-human, half-dTiarnai seer bitch Cailin who is a Mary Sue herself. See below. Is one to her, in the beginning. Also, some dude who rescues the idiots, er, heroes, just in the nick of time, because Tuadh is so speshiöl.

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Full Name, including titles: Cailin. Mrs Vetesnik apparently feels clever using random Gaelic words. This one, though, is not too impressive. The name “Colleen” derives from it, they're pronounced alike, and it simply means “girl”.
Full Species: Omfg!speshul human-dTiarnai-hybrid, lesser Sue than Tuadh, puella bitchia mixta impossibilis
Hair Colour: Light brown with copper streaks in it
Eye Colour: One hazel, one green, to mark her mixed heritage or something
Unusual Markings/Colourations: See above. Humans and dTiarnai never meet, live in different worlds, and despise each other, and yet, this brat exists. This is quite an unusual marking, no? Also, Tuadh notes she is the most beautiful girl he has ever encountered.
Special Possessions/Pets: Garrit A seer stone, which is a stone worn around her neck that allows her to have visions, or something like that. (She sure treats Garrit like some sort of spoiled animal, though.)
Annoying Sidekicks: First, Tuadh. Later on, as he becomes the perfect good looking super kewl hero dude, she becomes his sidekick.

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Current Mood: artistic
Thursday, March 8th, 2012
12:42 pm
Sparkling Dumbass with the Power of Light

In a brave or not-so-brave attempt to revive this once glorious community, I introduce you to another huge, fat Sue of which you might not have heard as of yet, because she is the protagonist of a German children's/YA fantasy series which is itself a huge, fat Harry Potter ripoff. Pray this one will never be translated into English. It's toxic. What is listed below is not even all I wanted and could say about her and the series as a whole (which goes hand in hand).

Title of Work: Laura-Series (Laura und das Geheimnis von Aventerra/Laura and the Secret of Aventerra being the first volume)
Author: Peter Freund

Full Name, including titles: Laura Leander, Child of the Bright Light
Full Species: Human
Hair Colour: Long, blonde hair like a veil of silk or something corny like that
Eye Colour: Beautiful blue eyes
Unusual Markings/Colourations: None
Special Possessions/Pets: A magical golden pendant shaped like a wheel, some stupid magical singing, rhyming, talking mist, a magical sword called Hellenglanz, or “Brightshine”, a big flock of dei ex machinae
Annoying Sidekicks: Her rather dumb redhead friend and her know-it-all friend. No, I'm not talking about Harry Potter. The redhead is fat and always thinks of chocolate (and female), and, in fairness, the know-it-all is her younger brother.

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Monday, January 30th, 2012
9:16 pm
Cigarette, le bon soldat

Hi there :3 Long time lurker, I just decided to make my virgin post to this community xD
Just a few words to this one: Cigarette is one female part of a love triangle in the now widely forgotten novel that bore the „French Foreign Legion“ genre. The book was written in 1867, and whilst it is not a good book, many a reader dearly remembers Cigarette. So do I, and I have absolutely nothing against her very existence

Title of Work: Under Two Flags
Author: Ouida, pen name of Marie Louise de la Ramée

Full Name, including titles: Cigarette, Amie du Drapeau (French for „friend of the flag“ or „good friend“, also an analogue for a loyal soldier, of course)
Full Species: Human
Hair Colour: „short, jetty hair“
Eye Colour: „dark, dancing, challenging eyes“
Unusual Markings/Colourations: Sun-kissed skin?
Special Possessions/Pets: A pistol, given to her by a general
Annoying Sidekicks: The whole of the Chasseurs d'Afrique, whom she calls gros bébées, or big babies. Is one herself to protagonist Bertie.

Annoying Origin: Was born to a whore of the Chasseurs in a barrack. Her father is unknown.
Annoying Way of Ruining the Story: From the moment on she appears (around the middle of the book), the story revolves around her for a great deal of time.
Annoying Special Abilities: Is a great fighter and rider, a grand soldier, fearless, brave, and loyal, cares for the sick and wounded, is a neat dancer, can shoot, and fence, and swear, smokes, wears pants and short hair, and basically does everything the men do, despite being a seventeen-year-old girl in 19th century Algeria.
Miscellaneous Reasons The Sue Should Not Exist: Is spunky and a great fighter, very precocious, very beautiful and beloved and admired by just about everyone while being extremely selfish and arrogant. Also, she dies the Tragic Death by sacrificing her life for the one she loves most.
Redeeming Qualities: She's cool, and smart, and fun, and more feminist than many a “feminist” character of modern works. She feels a lot like an adult prototype pf Pippi Longstockings. Heck, it's even downright stated she has lots of sex just for the fun of it! Oh, and it's nice she doesn't only make friends with and care for beautiful people, but also old, stiff, grumpy soldiers, whom she dances for to cheer them up and whom she nurses if they get sick or wounded. She does not get Bertie in the end. Also, in the latest film of the book (1936, ehehe), she's played by the incredible Claudette Colbert.
Small snippet of Sue Being Annoying:

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Current Mood: sore
Sunday, December 4th, 2011
2:12 pm
A song for the Mary Sue
I was just looking Glee and the song "Jolene" (orginal from Dolly Parton) and I thought wow that was made for all the Mary Sues in the world of books, films and series (In Glee it was sung to a woman namend Sue, accident? But I do not think that she is a Mary Sue :)). Sung from the woman who was or is going to be dumped  for a Mary Sue.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1C7vz7W6Bv0 - Jolene Glee
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1plvBR02wDs - Jolene Dolly Parton

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene,
I'm begging of you please don't take my man.
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene,
Please don't take him just because you can.

Your beauty is beyond compare,
With flaming locks of auburn hair,
With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green.

Your smile is like a breath of spring,
Your voice is soft like summer rain,
And I cannot compete with you, Jolene.

He talks about you in his sleep.
There's nothing I can do to keep
From crying when he calls your name, Jolene.

And I can easily understand
How you could easily take my man,
But you don't know what he means to me, Jolene.

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene,
I'm begging of you please don't take my man.
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene,
Please don't take him just because you can.

You could have your choice of men,
But I could never love again.
He's the only one for me, Jolene.

I had to have this talk with you.
My happiness depends on you,
And whatever you decide to do, Jolene.

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene,
I'm begging of you please don't take my man.
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene,
Please don't take him even though you can.
Jolene, Jolene.

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011
6:19 pm
Sues/Stus who you like
I am new here. `Waves around´ I don't know if there is a topic like this out there. If there is, I will of course delete this and would not mind if you could give me the link.

So I read a lot charackterisations of Sues and I want to ask if there are Sues out there that you like althought they are Sues?

I mean I really love Rose (Doctor who) and she is a sue, but she was my first Doctor Who Companion and I don't mind her Sueness.

So you've got a Sue were you know she is a Sue but love her anyway?

Sorry about my English it is not my  first language.
Thursday, October 27th, 2011
2:57 pm
Rose Dawson is on a Boat
Title of Work: Titanic
Author: James Cameron

Full Name, including titles: Rose DeWitt Bukater
Full Species(es): Pseudocanonica
Hair Colour (include adjectives): Brown
Eye Colour: Blue Green
Unusual Markings/Colourations: Unknown
Special Possessions/Pets: Heart of the Ocean, the diamond apparently more valuable than the Hope Diamond, because it is the missing French Blue. (Actually, as a bit of an aside, the Hope Diamond is the missing French Blue recut and far less gaudy then a heart shaped stone).
Annoying Sidekicks: N/A

Annoying Origin: We don't know her origin. We just know that she's a poor little rich girl.
Annoying Way of Ruining the Story: She and her dull romance exist during one of the worst maritime disasters in modern history.
Annoying Special Abilities: The ability to survive freezing water. She had already gotten wet. I don't care if she had gotten on the door. The water was cold enough to kill a man in as little as fifteen minutes.
Miscellaneous Reasons The Sue Should Not Exist: Well, for one thing she was basically a modern day woman behavior wise in 1912. That's the sort of behavior that winds up getting one committed.
Redeeming Qualities: (Reasons the Sue might not be annoying to someone else). Old Lady Rose Dawson. Much less annoying and she talks about having sex. That's pretty funny. Young Rose... meh.
Thursday, June 2nd, 2011
9:04 am
It's definitely official. Mortal Instruments is definitely going to be made into a movie. Jace has been cast. *twitchtwitchtwitch*

Tuesday, May 31st, 2011
12:55 pm
(If this post is frowned upon by the administrators for any reason, please feel free to delete this message.  Or contact me and I can do so ASAP.) 

Hello.  We are Pamachu Productions, world renowned makers of free crap!
We at Pamachu Productions would like to welcome each of you to Crap Fic Theater.  We are dedicated to crafting first-rate audiobook productions of some of the -- ahem! -- more infamous works of anime-flavored fanfiction produced on the internet.  Of course, the expansive network of terrible fanfiction curdling in every corner of the internet is far too intimidating for one person to handle; for this reason, I hope to focus my attention on the flabbergasting and exasperating, the bad and the goddamn beautiful, the most dreadful of the dreadful.  In other words, we're going to create audiobooks of those precious few fanfics that have attained some "cult status" as the cherries atop the proverbial shit-sundae.  Think of us as the Criterion Collection of garbage anime fanfiction.  The audio technicians and dramatists at Pamachu Productions promise to deliver (at an irregular schedule... hey, until this starts paying bills, that is!) two fists full of furious fanfic entertainment; we are your tour guides through a rich, borderline traumatic history of garbage fanfiction.
Our first audiobook production is NEO ARMAGEDDON EVANGELIST, an Evangelion dark-fic written by self-professed redheaded dominatrix (no, really) named Sara Anne Grantham.  Imagine twenty pages of a red-eyed biker chick smacking the shit out of an obese sociopathic hippie and you have a good idea of the sort of insanity that awaits.  Meet Sublime: the sharp-shootin' Mary Sue in question who spends the entire fanfic blasting people in the face while spouting off impossibly tangled pseudo-philosophical nonsense.  Also meet Washington: an obese hillbilly rapist assassin (no, really) who murders and molests all of Evangelion's canon characters.  Well, except for (the strangely heterosexualized) Kaoru and Gendo, who dramatically proves once and for all that size does not matter. You might also enjoy the melodramatic eviscerations of the entire core cast of Evangelion and the hilariously florid descriptions of sexual trauma.  Not for the faint of heart or easily offended (especially if you're a fan of Fuyutsuki).
Click here to listen to our audiobook recording of NEO ARMAGEDDON EVANGELIST.
Saturday, March 26th, 2011
12:09 am
River Song
Soooo...I'm not sure about this one and not sure if she's been brought up, but she annoyed me sufficiently so I seek counsel from my peers...

River Song from the new Doctor Who series? I've only actually seen her in the Library episode, where she interacts with the Tenth doctor, but she was kind of insufferable, what with having his screwdriver (he gave it to her! and her version is BETTER), and knowing his true name (which I'm pretty sure no other character so far save the Doctor knows, though maybe the Master does), and knowing pretty much everything about him. No, literally, having a diary of his entire personal history. All I could think was "Man, if this were fan-written and not canon, people would be calling for her head, seriously." And to hear that when she interacts with Eleven, she keeps being annoying, even to the point that she can fly the TARDIS better than the doctor, etc. I'm all for strong female characters and all (seriously! LOVE when the Companions kick ass), but he's the mother-loving Doctor for crying out loud!

Please, feel free to weigh in on this. I'd really rather go without intensely disliking Doctor Who characters, and she's the first one I've ever felt real, true burning dislike for.
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